put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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