im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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