HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
