Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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