Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
