She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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