he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
