I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
its liver damage thursday
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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