I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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