i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
