Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
