There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
