Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
