By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
