I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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