Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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