He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
