the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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