we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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