he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
