But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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