the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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