I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
