Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
