while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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