carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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