I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize