Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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