My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
