If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like death gave me a hand job
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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