Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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