Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
