please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That accounts for only three of the penises
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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