I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
