Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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