Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
