I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
