Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
