Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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