Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
