is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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