Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
