Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
