he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
