Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
