I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
