when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
