quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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