We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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