She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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