perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
