Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
