Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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