I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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