i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
