I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
God, you're like boner-b-gone
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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