dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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