So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
